What a week! My ticker got a clean bill of health
from the docs at Fant-ass-zia Medical Center on the Strip, then
my stomach got RE-stapled - for good this time! - by the good
fellas at Nevada Mining and Machinery Scrapyard near Goofball's
Casino by the deadwood marsh, and now... well...
I just picked up $7900 potato chips! On a twenty-dollar bet! And
of all the things that happened to your pal the rotund Tubster
this week, THIS is the one that proves there's a God!
9am Sunday - never follow track and field, but
figure what the hey, I'll drop some action on it.
10:10am - eat a quarter of a teaspoon of Cap'n
Crunch.
10:14am - held on for awhile, but couldn't resist,
and finished box of Cap'n Crunch using a can of Sierra Mist.
11:00am - Nearly passed out from a sugar rush
and crushed a woman betting the harness races. Luckily, she was
too old to scream.
11:41am - Higher than a kite, I hit the betting
window and place a bet that Tim Montgomery will
win the 100-meter dash at the US Track and Field
trials.
11:42am - fall asleep at the Roastaria coffee
pavilion inside Doctor Fong's Resort And Casino.
1:10pm - wake up. Check my ticket. I thought
I bet Montgomery. I bet Mo Greene!
1:11pm - wake up again. I thought I bet twenty
dollars, I bet two THOUSAND dollars!
2:08pm - still crying, still wandering the casino
in my fishing vest, yet still rushing. What the hell do they put
in that Cap'n Crunch?
6pm - Mo Greene wins the 100!
Sometimes ya gotta be good
Sometimes ya gotta be lucky
Sometimes ya gotta be both!
Most of the time, you're neither.
Or my name ain't...
The Tubster
PS - take the Italian in the British and the Spanish in the Tour
de France.
We all know unsanctioned gambling
is illegal, and Sportalicious! would never condone it. But if
you're playing at the kitchen table, an innocent game with your
kids using potato chips…knowledge is power, that's all we're
saying.
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