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Anybody got some Club Soda? |
South Bend, IN - At the request
of officials from the University of Notre Dame,
God has ripped out the larynx of former Domer and Green
Bay Packer All-Pro Paul Hornung
in a fiery bloodstorm, preventing Hornung from continuing
in his role as radio color commentator on Notre Dame football.
"Prayer really does work," said ND spokesman Father
Billy O'Dimplegreen. In March Hornung had said his alma
mater should "lower its academic standards" in
order to attract better black athletes. Despite receiving
endorsements for his stance from Rush Limbaugh
and the Mighty Sword Of God Church in Klan Cove, Georgia,
Hornung was censured by Notre Dame officials. Hornung still
thought he would be able to retain his broadcasting job
until Sunday, when God approached Hornung's booth at a Steak
'N Shake, launched a thunderbolt into Hornung's voicebox
and well, quite frankly, emptied the joint. However, Tuesday,
Steak 'N Shake announced it's new slogan, "Steak 'N
Shake - God Eats Here!" Hornung was available for comment,
but could not write out his thoughts fast enough to make
our press deadline.
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