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Gearbox Village, MI - It's
official -- troubled Los Angeles Lakers
guard Kobe Bryant has a moderate tear in
his groin muscle due to a medical condition known as "Bitching
& Moaning." Doctors at Detroit's HighBidder Goes
First Hospital ran a series of tests on the limping superstar
and concluded that Bryant's constant arguing with Shaquille
O'Neal had caused his right jaw to become inflamed,
which in turn tugged strenuously on Bryant's rib cage as
he continued to whine, forcing the rib cage to swell and
triggering the groin muscle to attempt to compensate and
provide lower-rib support. "Normally that doesn't happen
'cause they got an extra bone in their mouth, the blacks,"
said Rush Limbaugh, who was quickly pummeled
about the face and escorted to the state line for his own
safety. Attorneys for Bryant said this would not affect
their decision to present Bryant's groin as evidence in
his rape trial.
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