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"Does THIS make you mellow?
How about THIS?" |
Sconces, NY - Martha Stewart,
the nations's official color coordinator, released a statement
saying that prior to the New York Yankees loss
against the Chicago Cubs Saturday, she did makeovers
on the 341 people who sit directly behind home plate at Wrigley
Field, creating a color scheme from a palette of her
own invention that she knew would wear on Roger Clemens
eyesight and cause him to lose control of his fastball and in
particular, his slider. She also knew the color scheme would make
Yankee manager Joe Torre slide into a mellower,
uncaring mood. In the seventh inning, sure enough, Clemens walked
a batter, gave up a base hit, and got yanked by the suddenly apathetic
Torre. Torre replaced him with a pitcher he normally hates who
then gave up the game-winning homer and who has requested anonymity
for all time. The color scheme consisted of various hues from
the pink and mauve families, mysteriously blended with a strong
bolt of green at critical placements. The 341 fans were under
the delusion that they would be on a new Martha Stewart syndicated
show, "Multiple Makeover Martha," and so willingly went
along with the opportunity to get on TV. Surprisingly, when the
game was done, Stewart demanded the clothes back, at which point
she told the 341 people they had been "X'd" as part
of an elaborate prank on "The Jamie Kennedy Experiment."
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