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Olympic Bomber's Defense: 'It Was A New Event!'

  Exhibit B.
  Exhibit B.

Asheville, NC - The lead attorney for alleged Atlanta Olympic bomber Eric Rudolph told reporters Sunday his client is shocked at being apprehended and has told investigators he was under the impression from his amateur track team coaches that he was competing in a new Olympics event, "the exploding hammerthrow." Rudolph, a member of the Klan Cove, Georgia Track Club, told his attorney, Clay Halbritton III, he thought it was odd they weren't holding the event in the stadium itself. "He just figured maybe they needed a safer venue, because of the exploding element and all," said Halbritton. When asked how Rudolph could possibly think there was an Olympic event that consisted of throwing an exploding device, Halbritton said, "What you Yankees don't understand is, the south is fulla kids like this - good hearted, would run through a wall for ya, just waitin' for some parental authority figure. When that authority figure turns out to be a whack job with a hollowed out walking stick full of Wild Turkey, well, you wind up with... ...the exploding hammerthrow team." Halbritton has already found the other three members of the 'team' - Roger William Cantrell, 38, a sump pump repairman in Waycross, Georgia, Herbert 'Red' Flushevel, 41, an unemployed backhoe operator in Greenville, South Carolina, and Tommy Jack Duquesne, a barback in Panama City, Florida. All three are expected to testify that they were willing to throw the exploding hammer as well, but that Rudolph had the best qualifying distance. Said former suspect Richard Jewell, "Nice timing, FBI. Johnny-on-the-spot. Why didn't you wait another few years til I had an oxygen hose paperclipped to my nostrils while I hauled around my own tank on a handcart?"

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