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Wow. The Maple Leafs look
tough this year. |
Toronto, CA - The National
Hockey League admitted Monday that it faked pretty
much the entire hockey season and skated only the playoff
rounds leading up to the Stanley Cup Finals.
"The reason the teams were so fresh for the playoffs
is they were freakin' fresh, 'ey," said NHL spokesman
Pudge Nudberg, "They'd only skated once or twice since
October, fer cryin' out loud." The league took advantage
of ratings that were lower than that lesbian drama on Showtime
and rotated a "cancelled due to roof leaks" excuse
through the American arenas that kept suspicion at bay.
Most of the Canadian teams played about ten games total
to avoid being detected and to avoid calling each other
"pussies" for the entire offseason. But none of
these games was actually televised -- every TV game this
season was a repeat of something from the last decade that
was then presented as a current game. The fact that Gordy
Howe skated in one of the TV games didn't raise
an eyebrow, which is attributed to both low viewership and
drunk viewership.
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