I lost a whole bag of potato chips on Annika
Sorenstam. My Swedish sources said she'd finish top ten...
ah well, a good gambler picks himself up, dusts off all the porno
handouts sticking to his clothes, and heads back into the casino...
Larry Brown steps down as head coach in Philadelphia.
Hey, hey, hey, let's make up some of that Sorenstam hit! There's
several names at the top of the 76ers list, but the odds on each
of those guys is a lousy 3-1 at best. You wanna make some REAL
potato chips? Take a chance on this short list of longshot head
coaching candidates from my source inside the Sixers'
ball maintenance department:
1 - Brian Dunkelman, 100-to-1.
The former "American Idol' co-host is at liberty and rumor
has it he played some juco ball at Cactus Community College in
Mojave, CA. With the right assistants, could pull it off. Young
energy, good in press conferences....
2 - Larry Eustachy, 15-1. The
former Iowa State coach has all the tools and
hey, "lay low" time is a thing of the past. Besides,
in the pros, if you kiss 19-year-old coeds, your players will
think of you as a "playah"... Iverson
likes him...
3 - Joe Torre, 75-1. Don't laugh,
the Yankees' bad streak is worse than it looks,
and Steinbrenner has an itchy trigger finger.
The difference in fundamentals between the two sports are miniscule.
Philly ownership has already leaked that they'd let Torre coach
in his Yankee pinstripes...
4 - Al Sharpton, 50-1. Don't
look now, but Sharpton's been losing weight and secretly reading
all of Pete Carrill's books, and he's privately
expressed a yen to get out of the lucrative unemployment business
and into something "closer to the people..." Iverson
likes him too...
5 - I cannot BELIEVE Sorenstam went 4-over her last round! What
was all the lesbian weight training for?! I plopped 23 potato
chips on her, and she tanked it -- Okay. Sorry, folks. It's just...
...hey, it's part of my biz! That's life. I don't need more than
basic cable anyway. Life is a movie, who needs to pay for HBO?
I'll bet Dunkleman hard and cover my ass with a "Larry Brown
Changes His Mind" side bet, which should get me back to even
comfortably, or I'm not...
The Tubster
We all know unsanctioned
gambling is illegal, and Sportalicious! would never condone it.
But if you're playing at the kitchen table, an innocent game with
your kids using potato chips…knowledge is power, that's
all we're saying.
|
