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Man Made Lake, CA - Pop superstar heartthrob
Justin Timberlake has apparently been driven crazy over
which half of his name to root for in the NBA playoffs,
the Minnesota Timberwolves or the LA Lakers!
Timberlake, an NBA fanatic, had been quite somber this past week on tour
as the T-Wolves beat Sacramento to gain the conference finals, but his
tour publicist, Misty Garfish-Pelf, said everyone in his entourage attributed
it to the usual sadness at having the shallow love of countless millions
of strangers but not the resonant love of a good woman. "Usually
when that funk sets in we just get him stoned on Absolut Martinis and
play him some of that psycho Cuban jazz none of the rest of us understand,"
said Garfish-Pelf. "Had we just known..." at this point her
voice trailed off, possibly from being distraught but more probably because
she's notorious for having absolutely no attention span whatsoever. Timberlake's
real motivation for his funk did not surface until his tour stop at the
Peyote Dome outside Taos, New Mexico. After one of his many wardrobe changes
Timberlake gyro-danced to centerstage and only then realized he had on
a "Shaq Diesel" mac-daddy hat with a Kevin Garnett
tank top. At this point he went catatonic, standing perfectly still and
softly mumbling, "timber...lake..." Unfortunately, for more
than four minutes, fans and his own band just thought it was a new attitude
he was trying out. Everyone in the crowd followed Timberlake's lead and
stood perfectly still and bug-eyed, thinking that's what the superstar
wanted. But apparently Timberlake thought the faux-catatonic fans chanting
his name, "Timberlake," were actually taunting him over his
dilemma, and he collapsed mid-tune in tears. He was rushed back to LA
by an alert Harrison Ford, who was scouting locations
in a chopper nearby. Timberlake then secretly took the Robert
Downey Jr. Bullet Train from LA to the Courtney Love
suite in the Gary Busey Wing of the Charlie Sheen
Clinic at the Betty Ford Center in Palm Springs, California for treatment
of depression, bi-polar disorder and an eyebrow thinning by Anastasia.
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