Select Bios:
Chet Waterhouse -
legendary play-by-play man and the voice of the Intercontinental
Football League’s Sioux Falls Thunderstorm - is our managing editor. His full bio can be read
here.
Glen Furg,
Mr. Stats, is actually a 30-year-old aeronautics PH.D. from
Iowa State University and author of “POINTS EQUALS
GREATER PREDISPOSITION TO WINNING – the Origins of
Victory.” Furg won three medals at
the Salt Lake City Paralympic Winter Games, but was asked
to leave when it was revealed he has no disability, he just
likes to ski sitting down.
Allan
Castagna, The Rotisserie Maniac, is a retail analyst
for Bear Stearns Securities and Brokerage Firm. Between
meetings with Fortune 500 leaders and other industry experts
you'll find Allan here sharing his rotisserie insights with our readers. Allan joined the team late in 2002
when former Rotisserie Maniac Franklin Halford was forced
by his CEO at Sun Microsystems to focus on his "regular"
job. Best wishes to Franklin and his family.
The
"TUBSTER." If you’ve ever spent
any time in Las Vegas, particularly between the hours of
1am and 8am, The Tubster needs no introduction. The omni-present
“Tub” slides effortlessly around Vegas despite
his 483 pounds and its accompanying odor. As a denizen of
eateries all over town, he’s beloved, or as one maitre’d
jokingly put it, “barely tolerated, with his fat freakin’
mouth.”After a successful career in auto-dial telemarketing,
The Tubster turned his talents to oddsmaking. His career
mark of 50.61% right versus a paltry 49.39% wrong is third
all-time among active fat blowhard tipsters.
Anthem-Singing
Breasts - Sporting a resume of acting and singing
credits, much of which had been skillfully fabricated, the
beautiful Anthem-Singing breasts joined Sportalicious in
the winter of 2003 as at-large correspondents. Their meteoric
rise through show business is a testament to their perkiness
and likeability. The Breasts, whose best credit prior to
Sportalicious! was "Girl At Bar" in the Jerry
O'Connell movie, "Tomcats," nonetheless have tremendous
male contacts all over the country from their days in the
dancing industry and somehow own a knockout beach house
in Malibu. The left breast does most of the talking.
Mohammed
Saeed al Sahhaf - Iraq's former Minister Of Information
resigned his post overseas around the time of the U.S. invasion
and joined the Sportalicious! staff in the early spring
of 2003 after experiencing a meteoric but very short stint
as the sports information director at the University of
Kansas. Al Sahhaf brings tremendous oratorical skills to
his duties not seen since perhaps Howard Cosell. "Even
had I not worked like a chained wild boar for the rancid
Iraqi tyrant whose spirit rots in the flaming quagmire,"
says al Sahhaf, "I am the kind of person who lives
every day as if it is his last." Al Sahhaf covers golf
and winter sports for Sportalicious!
Outdoor
Dick - Certainly the most easy-going member of
our staff, 35-year-old Dick Baker conveys 33 years of outdoor
experience in a folksy and easily understood manner. At
the age of 2 Baker's parents, who were fleeing a warrant
related to a botched bank robbery for the Student Nonviolent
Coordinating Committee (SNCC), dumped Dick off in northern
Wisconsin's Chequamegon National Forest and fled to Canada.
Baby Dick survived three months by eating only berries and
nuts he saw squirrels and deer eat. He's never looked back.
Baker hosts "Baker's Dozin' " on the Northwoods
Channel and is a consultant for Hooker Fish Hooks - Catch
The Big One With A Hooker!
Alejandro
- Alejandro is Sportalicious' staff psychic extraordinaire.
Formerly Kurt Poltrikus, a freelance logger from Beaverton,
Oregon, Alejandro was struck by lightning which infused
him with his special psychic powers. He often receives his
psychic predictions through the intense, spiritual power
of lightning, which unfortunately renders him unconscious
until after the event has passed. He now lives in a shiny
trailer at what crazy people consider a spiritual hotspot
one mile North of an Indian casino in Northern Wisconsin.
He has two cats - Pooky and Kurt. Alejandro's most extraordinary
prediction thus far is that he would indeed become Sportalicious'
staff psychic extraordinaire.
Chuck
D'Amato - Sportalicious's new Health and Fitness
columnist does not 'work out' in the traditional sense but
rather feels that if you live life to the fullest, body
tone will generally improve. D'Amato is a former blackjack
dealer and internet mortgage broker from Laughlin, Nevada;
his most recent physical training credit is he's spent the
last seven weeks touring the country in a '68 Camaro with
several different women, stayed alive and actually lost
four pounds. D'Amato is six feet tall, 181 pounds, has ripped
abs, is 28 years old and chain smokes. He occasionally 'forgets'
to eat. His favorite hard liquor is pear vodka.
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