|
| |
 |
| |
Why is Phil Jackson smiling?
Because that's a coach ticket. |
Electrified Gated Estates, CA
- The Los Angeles Lakers defiantly admitted
today that they have ordered star guard and sexual assault
suspect Kobe Bryant to participate in exhausting
courtroom proceedings and then fly in at the last minute
to all future Laker playoff games. "Clearly, he plays
better when the precarious future of his lifestyle is debated
ad nauseum in front of him and then he has to walk out of
court in front of wasp-like swarms of press, hunching so
he doesn't appear to be taller than everyone, then taking
an energy-draining plane ride across at least one time zone
and needing a police escort to get to the arena on time
with barely a second to spare to don his exhorbatently priced
tennis shoes," said Laker head coach Phil Jackson,
adding, "That's when he kicks ass." Jackson said
he has contacted Colorado officials to see if they can keep
Kobe in a state of dread more often. He did go onto admit,
"We will trump up charges in several other states if
we have to to keep him in a manic, dreamlike state."
|
