I hate myself...
and I don't mean for pounding down a whole Butterscotch n' Bacon
Burrito at Senor Sweettooth's by myself...
(incidentally, it's just north of the model airplane park near
the Splitween Gypsum Plant... Mmmm, mmm, get there by sunup for
the fresh aloe coffee...)
I don't care so much about slipping off my diet... Okay, I dove
off my diet in a double-somersault twist into a layout... I care
about the WIN STREAK!
DAMN IT!...
It only took me six weeks to trim 11 pounds off my original 483,
and the good news is I proved to myself that I have the discipline
to do that again anytime I want...
The bad news is I was tryin' to get down to 470 even for a date
with a gorgeous brunch hostess from Dribbler's Men's Club and
failed to eat for 24 hours, making me lightheaded and dizzy and
unsteady and... betting on a bass fishing tournament that unbeknownst
to me was a rerun from August of '03...
There goes 90 large potato chips.
I hear you sayin' what I say to you -- get up and get back on
the bike NOW.
So... my first step back is the NCAA Division IV Croquet Championships
-- take Fumferton in an upset over Pennywhistle College...
There's an easy two potato chips! Only 88 more...oh my God 88
more?! That was nine grand I lost! OH MY GOD! -- or my name ain't...
The Tubster
We all know unsanctioned gambling
is illegal, and Sportalicious! would never condone it. But if
you're playing at the kitchen table, an innocent game with your
kids using potato chips…knowledge is power, that's all we're
saying.
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