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Volleyball anyone? |
Aereola Island, the Caribbean –
In the wake of the still-sizzling Mike Price
and Larry Eustachy scandals at Alabama
and Iowa State, Club Med police this weekend
dealt with a full-blown “epidemic of impropriety”
at the American Coaches Association meeting,
according to CM security chief Bizzy Thiboudeaux. Apparently two
drunken men who had spent all Saturday night squeezing women’s
buttocks and taking over for the house band’s lead singer
during a Foreigner/Foghat medley were actually Duke
basketball coach Mike Kresczewski and Penn
State football coach Joe Paterno. In
addition, an illegal strip poker game run by Syracuse
basketball coach Jim Boeheim was shut down, and
a nude track meet organized by Nebraska football
coach Frank Solich erupted into a riot when security
guards were accosted by Temple hoops coach John
Chaney and University of Miami football
coach Larry Coker, both naked. “That, you
don’t want to see,” said Thiboudeaux. At this point
the coaches were joined by Washington State hoops
coach Dick Bennett, UNLV football
coach John Robinson, University of Wisconsin
coach Barry Alvarez and Florida State
head coach Bobby Bowden, all naked and “on
something,” according to Thiboudeaux. Security resorted
to pepper gas and a water cannon. Texas Tech’s Bobby
Knight quit the organization in disgust.
Editor's Note: We apologize in having to cut this
story short, but we ran out of bold ink.
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