"When I say take a left - take a left." Louisville, KY - In an incident become all too common among star athletes, 3-year-old racehorse Smarty Jones won the Kentucky Derby Saturday, got drunk all night at a strip club and accidentally shot his chauffeur at dawn back at the stables when he was showing off his gun collection to the Budweiser Clydesdales and some underage revelers who were still there. "We didn't need this after last year's scandals with Funny Cide," said track publicist Heather Dubb-Taylor. "Man, these new horses have no respect for the game!" Triple Crown officials are urging all horses to emulate the behavior of the last Triple Crown winner, Affirmed, who always behaved majestically in front of the cameras and the general public and then just drank heavily in private. Smarty Jones has not been taken into custody and in fact is still planning to attend an upcoming Outkast concert. Send this page to a friend (all fields required): Your Name   Friend's email Your email     The information entered here will be used to send an email on your behalf and will not be collected or used by Sportalicious! for any marketing purposes.