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After having been abandoned as a two-year-old
in Chequamegon National Forest, Dick
Baker grew up with a passion for the outdoors. Baker
hosts "Baker's Dozin' " on the Camping Network
and is Sportalicous! outdoor correspondent. Email your questions
to outdoordick@sportalicious.com
Before we get rollin' with a question, let
me fulfill the promise I made in my
last column. Carvin' your own canoe out of the remnants
of a jackaranda trunk and lashin' it with elk rawhide is
one helluva great way to spend five weeks! Now, I did the
hollowin' out with a primitive Hopi Indian-style tool I
honed myself from a river stone that I scraped and chiseled
against a rock-hard petrified outcropping for ten days straight,
so if you just bring along a small hatchet, you'll shave
two weeks off of that 'five-week' process! And don't worry
-- you ain't cheatin' Mother Nature, 'cause Man and all
his glorious inventions are technically a part of nature
too! Just find yourself a jackaranda stump with no sandworm
damage, 'cause those devils can live in the dead wood for
years and you'll be paddlin' your canoe down the Colorado
all happy, headed back to civilization after a great month
in the desert wild, when -- gurgle! -- sandworms will finish
eatin' holes in your craft and turn it into a drinkin' fountain!
At that point it's a mixed blessing if you survive the river
rapids using only your ass-fat as a 'boat' because suddenly
you're walkin', days away from the nearest scary desert
town in 135-degree heat with no knowledge of which bugs
are edible and which will paint your gullet with a painful
venom that takes days to kill you.
So check to make sure there's no needle-sized holes in your
jackaranda stump and then happy canoin'! On to business...
Dear Outdoor Dick:
My husband and I are going snorkeling for the first time
ever in Hawaii! We picked it because all studies say it's
the safest way to explore aquatic nature. Any tips?
- Nancy M., Plasma, Washington
Dear Nancy!
I won the snail dig in Plasma in '97! Good people.
Here's my only tip -- enjoy! Snorkeling is safe and fun.
And, forget the old wives' tales, there's no way anything
can really 'clog up' your breathing tube, especially snorkeling
in pairs. It's a cool, relaxed activity full of joy and
wonder.
Just had one thought -- The Big Island? You may want to
shimmy away from any scarlet-colored coral. 'Honga,' as
it's called, can get a lethal dose of poison in your bloodstream
from the tiniest scrape on your pinky finger and paralyze
your lungs in seconds, flipping you belly up and lifeless,
gasping for your last breath while your partner thinks you're
just 'screwin' around'. Headin' back to Plasma with a coffin
as your checked luggage is no way to finish off a nice week
in Hawaii.
Happy explorin' in nature's underwater movie!
- Dick
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