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Rabbit ears are only funny when
done *behind* someone's head. |
Los Angeles, CA - “Not on my watch!”
shouted anti-war actor Tim Robbins, kicking off a puzzling
celebrity demonstration against the 2003 NFL Draft Sunday
outside the Burke Williams Day Spa in Beverly Hills, CA. Attempts by reporters
to clarify that the NFL draft is non-military in nature were cut short
by Robbins who insisted, “bend the truth, you truth benders, but
you can’t hide the fact that our voices sound really professional,
so let OUR voices be heard!” As dozens cheered, he then stood on
a portion of his Range Rover protected by a cashmere throw. “I will
not stand idly by while the white power structure in this country marches
innocent boys off to certain harm in foreign lands like Cincinnati
or Green Bay,” said Robbins in tones so grave his
acting teacher wept. He added, “The fact they’re paying them
blood money, huge sums, close to what movie stars make, that sickens me
to the point of tremendous sickness!” Other celebs spoke as well.
“Mmmph, mmmph, mmm, mmph,” said Martin Sheen,
who had his mouth asphalted shut and was nailed to a cross in protest.
Added panic chief Janeane Garofalo, “No more Bosnias!
– no wait, that’s wrong, that was a good thing – what
am I thinking of? - GOD, hang on! – Vietnam!! That’s it -
No more Vietnams!” Robbins’ longtime mate Susan Sarandon
declined comment because she has a film project coming out soon.
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