|
| |
|
| |
"May I recommend a Louisville Slugger
'96?"
|
Chicago, IL - Snotty baseball officials
again accused Chicago Cubs outfielder Sammy Sosa
of wrongdoing when they found another of the Cubs' slugger's bats topped
off with cork this weekend -- but Sosa brought the investigation to a
crashing halt when he popped the cork and poured a delicate 1997 Trickly
Creek Vineyards' Johannesburg Reisling from the end of his massive black
bat. "See?" said Sosa, "Ees dry yet piquant, with un poco
hint of ash - magnifico for flakier seafood like swordfish or tilapia!
You no can top Trickly Creek '97, ees superbo!" Sportalicious! reporters
disguised as drunks discovered that Trickly Creek has been using Sosa's
bats to age its small "boutique" wines. "The fine quality
of bat ash combined with the occasional violent, fast movement imparts
an aggressive, woody hue to the wine," said Trickly Creek spokesman
Woody Hewe. The wine will be available this June to the public and will
be sold in a distinctive black bat bottle. Major League Baseball
was flabbergasted by the incident until it found out it would get 15%
of the gross sales of the new Black Bat White Wine, at which point it
quickly agreed to the bizarre aging method, provided the bat was "no
lighter in weight and hence not creating an unfair competitive edge."
Instead of a reprimand, Sosa was praised by the league for pioneering
innovative marketing techniques. The Cubs lost, 7-2 to the Milwaukee
Brewers and will also have to pay for cleaning white wine stains
off rookie Brew Crew pitcher Matt Punn's jersey.
| |
