In a town where you can get odds on Bea Arthur’s
hysterectomy, you STILL can’t bet –
legally – on the NFL Draft! But there’s
tasty potato chips to be won on side bets with other sportsbook
patrons. Code words: “Got Any Mentos?”
If the answer’s “Yes, Lingonberry,” get set
for hot dollar-on-dollar side action! Two reasons not to waste
time over the well-known picks –
#1 - odds suck and
#2 - who cares?
Here’s the Tubster’s NFL Draft 2003
darkhorses guaranteed to get a Pringle in your fingers:
Doyle Dinwiddie – 27, 6’5”,
241lbs., Quixote State, tight end
Dinwiddie spent two years on a Mormon mission in Cleveland and
then was kidnapped for a year, but he made up for lost time with
a hellacious senior season - 63 catches, 57 for touchdowns. Didn’t
help his visibility that the Windmillers were on probation and
couldn’t go to the Div. III playoffs. Tubster says…
4th round.
Dartanyan Hipp – 21, 5’1”,
201lbs., Mavis Beacon College, rb
Hipp got overlooked at the college scouting combine, literally,
when scouts actually were blocked by taller players and didn’t
see him run a 3.9-second 40 yard dash. Good punt returner. Typers
fans loved him! Tubster says… 5th round.
Jack Jones Jr. – 22, 6’2”,
199lbs., College of Lake Tahoe, db
Yeah, THAT Jack Jones! Football…exciting and new! Moves
as smooth as his dad’s voice. Great instincts and sweaters.
Few outside the CANCR Conference (Colleges of Arizona, Nevada
and California Research) know him. Tubster says… 6th round.
Moammar Rafsanjani – 24, 5’7”,
141 lbs., Univ. of Qatar, k
Kicked a 71-yard field goal in a home game, later wiped out due
to billowing oil rig fires. The Black Sheikhs all-time leading
scorer. Much tougher than his size – once walked from Qatar
to Istanbul for a cousin’s World Cup game! Tubster says,
7th round.
And if you need a pick-me-up during those long middle rounds,
join me for a Butterfinger Waffle at Big Sticky’s Breakfast
Barn! I’ll see you there, or my name ain’t…
The Tubster
We all know unsanctioned
gambling is illegal, and Sportalicious! would never condone it.
But if you're playing at the kitchen table, an innocent game with
your kids using potato chips…knowledge is power, that's
all we're saying.
|
