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This'll get a chunk of change on
eBay. |
Chicago, IL – For the first
time since the last time they had to do this, the Chicago
White Sox have cancelled a promotional event due to unruly
behavior by its fans. “Get Drunk And Run On The Field Nite!”
will not take place May 8th as scheduled. “In light of recent
events, it’s prolly… not wise,” said Sox vice-president
Beergut Malone at a press conference Monday. Teetering from the
pressure, Malone added, “We’ll re-do our promos to
try and ‘liminate this type of unadzepable-… unapseptibbible…
wrong behavior.” Malone then collapsed into a chair and
was revived with oxygen and a shot of Glenfidditch single malt
scotch. Sox public relations reps Rob Roy and Tom Collins said
that the popular “Get Drunk And Run On The Field Nite!”
will have to be replaced by “Throw These Promotional Mini-Bats
At The Players Nite!” They also announced that the June
2nd “Free Beer To Anyone Half-Naked Nite!” will be
scrapped in favor of “Nickel Beer With Or Without Clothes
On Nite!” On August 14th, “Flaming Asian Knives Nite!”
will now be simply, “Lighter Fluid Nite!” The Kansas
City Royals are the opponents for all the promotions.
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