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That Jayhawk sure is nosy. |
London, England - “That’s
it, you bloody bastards!” screamed the ghost of Queen
lead singer Freddie Mercury at a press conference
outside London’s BMI offices, called to announce a lawsuit
against nearly every American sporting venue in existence. “I
can’t go two seconds without some ballpark firing up the
first four bars of ‘We Will Rock You!’ Yeah, ‘We
Will Rock You,’ but you will F*%k me! Well guess what? No
more – I wants me money!” Mercury looked pale but
otherwise resplendant in a teal jumpsuit cut to the navel and
was joined by his legal counsel, the ghosts of Clarence Darrow
and Socrates. “Pay us or go leech off Gary Glitter,”
said Darrow. Added Socrates, “Let’s hip it up a little,
people. Are you trying to tell me there hasn’t been one
tune in the last twenty years you can’t use instead of ‘We
Will Rock You?’ I like that Nelly tune.
‘It’s Getting Hot In Here.’ Use that, go rip
him off.”
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