Pie Chart Village, FL - USA Today today announced they have sought a court injunction to prevent Duke University basketball coach Mike Krzyzewski from spelling his name using his current arrangement of consonants and vowels in a specific and confusing order. "This is long overdue," said USA Today spokesman Mike Smith. "Coach K's bellig--, uhh, I mean, 'meany, sour,' attitude regarding the spelling of his name is no longer suffic--, uhh, I mean 'enough' reason to keep using this dumb collection of letters from the alphabet in what is clearly a random and dopey order." Smith said the new spelling, "Sheshefski," is already a compromise position sought by the newspaper through arbitration with Webster's Dictionary, the Polish Consulate, and the Duke University English Department. "He can still go by 'Coach K' though, that's fine, it's a great, nice and simple nickname that doesn't tax any of our readers," said Smith. When it was pointed out that with the new USA Today spelling, 'Sheshefski,' Krzyzewski would no longer have an actual 'K' at the beginning of his name on which to base the nickname 'Coach K,' Smith grabbed his forehead tightly with both hands and then asked for a glass of water and some Excedrin. Smith then excused himself, stating he was on a tight deadline to go design a front page graphic of a picture of a small town square with nine hidden squirrels in it. Can YOU find them?