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Coach K Disciplines Two Starters, Kills Other Three!

 
Best two of three?

Wherever Duke Is, North Carolina - In a rare show of emotion, Duke University basketball coach Mike-- ehh, Sheshefski, took disciplinary action against his team after a rough final five-minute stretch in the Blue Devils' 79-78 loss Saturday to Connecticut. Upon arrival back in North Carolina, before debarking the charter flight, Coach K told starters Luol Deng and Bobby Duhon to exit the plane, go to their rooms and actually study. He then had the flight attendants smother his other three starters with airline pillows. "This is not the way I like to run the Duke basketball program," said Coach K, "but then again, that last five minutes was not really Duke basketball." The university supported Coach K's decision. "What happens on that team stays on that team," said school publicist Chrissie Hyde-Flendy. "They're a close-knit bunch." Local North Carolina authorities took no action because Coach K's contract allows him to kill one player a year with a cumulative rollover clause built in, and because, as sheriff Tom Bob Crickston said, "We like a-winnin', junior. Now git awn outta here with that new-fangled computer thingie."

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