They plan on throwing a slider.

Westwood, CA – Sportalicious! staffers The Anthem-Singing Breasts will throw out the first pitch at a San Diego Padres home game later this month, replacing Susan Sarandon, who cancelled due to a “war earrache.” “We’re just so honored,” said the Left Breast, who generally does most of the talking. “To be considered big enough and soft enough to do this for the Padres, it’s a feather in our cap.” The Breasts were seen in negotiations with several Padres players at the La Jolla Charthouse parking lot until 4:10AM last Saturday. On game day they will don Padre lingerie and baseball caps and will rely on ribcage pressure to jettison the ball forward from their ample cleavage.