Perky coverage

LOS ANGELES, CA – Sportalicious! announced Monday that the Anthem-Singing Breasts will handle the website’s coverage of the NCAA basketball tourney. “Why send another 28-year-old Rich Eisen wannabe?!” said Sportalicious! spokesman Chet Waterhouse. Waterhouse was slated to do the tourney coverage for Sportalicious! but pulled out due to a conflict with the NCAA itself, which recently voted to ban Chet from its major announce booths and has his picture at all tournament parking venues. This apparently stems from an incident in the 2000 tourney in which Chet referred to the NCAA selection committee as “lumpy asses”. “I don’t want to get into it,” said Waterhouse, “but look at their asses and tell me they’re not lumpy – anyway – let’s focus on the breasts!” The wonderfully shaped bosoms “are charming, professional and I’m tellin’ you, athletes just seem to gravitate towards ‘em!” said Waterhouse. The breasts will attend the West Regional so they can honor previously scheduled commitments at Bare Assets Gentlemen’s Club in Las Vegas, for the National Emergency Room Workers Convention.