Hey tipsters, getting sweaty palms over maybe losin'
the mortgage on March Madness?! Of course you are! That's what
makes gamblin' fun!...
Time for TIPS! -- but not gambling tips. Plenty
of time the next couple weeks for those... I don't want to focus
on your hard-earned potato chips just yet... I'm talkin' about
REAL potato chips...
That's right -- if you prepare all your game snacking NOW,
you will free your mind to focus your energy laser-like on your
core deficiency... or something like that, I read it in a Tony
Robbins book, but I only got two chapters in when the
bookstore tossed me...
CHIPS:
My favorite: Classic Ruffles.
Surprise sure to delight: Bugles.
Stay away from: Wow Chips. Olestra. I had to
leave a sure harness-racing parlay winner 'cause of those damn
chips...
DIPS:
My favorite: Lipton onion soup dip
Surprise sure to delight: smokey chipotle &
chedder
Stay away from: Goat cheese. It can trigger a
gag reflex in some people, and then you're cleaning up barf instead
of watching the Zags drop an opening rounder
to Murray State!
SODAS:
My favorite: Strawberry Crush.
Surprise sure to delight: A&W root beer.
Stay away from: Natural Spritzers. Hello -- where's
the SUGAR?!
QUICK FOOD:
My favorite: Pizza. Not picky. C'mon, I'm 483
pounds.
Surprise sure to delight: eight-layer Mexican
dip. Only if you've got a Mexican neighbor willing to whip it
up for you.
Stay away from: make-your-own coldcut sandwich
deli trays. Why? Distracting, for one. Plus, after an hour the
meat starts to sweat, that can't be good. And everyone eats the
turkey and leaves the ham and the roast beef, so guess what your
dinner is the next two weeks? Roast-beef-rolled ham with goat
cheese dip.
and who wants to clean up their own barf?....
or my name ain't...
The Tubster
NEXT WEEK: College Hoops. Strap in.
We all know unsanctioned
gambling is illegal, and Sportalicious! would never condone it.
But if you're playing at the kitchen table, an innocent game with
your kids using potato chips…knowledge is power, that's
all we're saying.
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