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New York, NY - Only hours
after receiving league approval from commissioner Bud
Selig to make
an attempt on the life of New York Yankees
owner George Steinbrenner, the Boston
Red Sox plot was foiled by none other than George
Steinbrenner himself! The Red Sox, with the backing
of 24 other major league teams, deployed three stolen plow
trucks to box Steinbrenner's limousine into a cul-de-sac
on New York's Upper East Side near the East River. Five
assassins surrounded the limo and attempted to break in
and suffocate the Yankee boss with a specially embroidered
pillow -- but that's where the assassination attempt ended.
Steinbrenner jumped into the front seat next to his paralyzed
limo driver, jammed his own foot on the accelerator, ran
over three of the BoSox assassins and then helped his limo
driver flip up on two wheels, narrowly squeezing between
two of the plow trucks and slithering away to freedom. The
Red Sox now have to start from scratch with a new plan to
assassinate Steinbrenner and present it at spring meetings
later this month.
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