Madison, WI - Jacob Pheldring, the University of Wisconsin undergrad caught reading Sportalicious! last week during an 'Onion' prayer meeting and public reading, announced at a press conference last Friday that he would continue reading Sportalicious! "It's kinda sports jokes and stuff," said the articulate Pheldring, "and it's not like all bogged down and s$%t with junk like advertisers, or clarity." The campus immediately held a candlelight protest, and Pheldring did not get laid the entire weekend and has not gotten laid yet as we go to press. Pheldring has been forced to actually do some statistics homework. Sportalicious! site editor Chet Waterhouse said he would attempt to airlift to Pheldring a stripper from the Cheddar Falls Gentlemen's Club. Send this page to a friend (all fields required): Your Name   Friend's email Your email     The information entered here will be used to send an email on your behalf and will not be collected or used by Sportalicious! for any marketing purposes.