Down goes Frazieri! Down goes Frazieri!

Barcalangia, Spain - 'Serge,' a 4-year-old, 1600-pound black bull, was the first bull ever to win the 207th All-Espana Bullfighting Championships! Serge severely gored the first seven matadors he faced, then knocked the eighth senseless on his opening charge. The next and last matador in the Barcalangia bullpen, the Great Goffredo, immediately withdrew with what he told officials was a sudden and severe gall stone attack. At this point an irate Spanish spectator, 37-year-old Marculio "Coolio" Pedroza, lept into the ring and tried to kill Serge with his nearly empty gallon jug of Sangria. Serge bit off his arm and Pedroza wisely retreated back to the stands, where his friends rushed him to Yo No Se Medical Center with his detached arm in their Sangria cooler. The entire stadium sat frozen in fear for over 40 minutes until an alert stadium trumpeter, Manual d'Ortega Marsalis, had the presence of mind to sound the "vittorioso" bugle call, and the crowd cheered Serge wildly. Serge then relaxed enough to be escorted to a limousine waiting outside the stadium for the tournament winner. Said limo driver Arturo Esteban, "Lucky I brought the stretch."