An unidentified employee of sports network ESPN was being held in custody by Bristol, Connecticut police on charges of “creating a public nuisance” when he said too loudly at the sports network’s outdoor food patio, “I don’t see what the big deal is with Anna Kournikova.” The man went on to say, “She’s kind of plain looking, decent for a Russian chick, but she’s got nothing in her eyes, like when you see Alyssa Milano, she looks like she’s lookin’ right in your soul – that’s hot.” At that point the man was wrestled to the ground by Dan Patrick and Rich Eisen while Kenny Mayne called police and John Buccigross got everyone off the outdoor food patio safely. “It is a stated policy of ESPN that Anna Kournikova is hot,” said an ESPN policy spokesman. He went on to say counselors would be brought in to help any employees who’ve been rattled by the incident.