Looks thin, right? It's three feet tall.

Bristol, CT - In a move Sportalicious! managing editor Chet Waterhouse called "dopey," ESPN spokesman Tad Hung announced Monday that the cable sports giant was suing this website for what he called "the most flagrant, naked, bald-faced thievery in the history of sports television." ESPN feels that the Sportalicous! S-Pee awards - slated for March 26th at the Trailways Bus Maintenance Depot in Las Vegas - somehow infringes on ESPN's sports awards show, "The ESPYs." "What do you mean, 'somehow'?!" said an aggravated Hung, "It's the exact same friggin' thing! It's an awards show, it sounds just like 'ESPYs,' it's blatantly illegal, you dumb clowns, I can't believe you thought you could get away with this!" Apparently, ESPN will claim that there is some sort of phonetic similarity between the two names. "Apparently?!" said Hung, a vein bulging down his left cheek, "Come here you God*$#m moron---" At this point, Hung dove onto a reporter and drove his forearm into the man's throat while pounding him in the face with a water pitcher from the dais. The press conference was terminated and the reporter taken to Bristol's Harvey Cream Hospital, where he is listed in "pummeled" condition. Reached for comment, Waterhouse said, "Hey! 'S' and 'P' are the first two letters in Sportalicious! What in hell are we SUPPOSED to call the damn show, huh?!" The awards will be dubbed into Spanish with english subtitles and broadcast on Telemundo at 4:30am the morning of March 27.