"Only the first drink is free, mon ami."

North Buttock, Alaska - For the first time ever, a team of non-husky sled dogs is dominating regional action leading up to the world famous Iditarod sled race! Musher Antoine Plufet of Montagne L'Arrogant, in the French Alps, we're guessing, has won six straight warm-up races in central Alaska using a team of small poodles with pink bows in their hair. The poodles have not only beaten more experienced Siberian and Alaskan husky teams, but have also taken to delivering booze to stranded winter campers in half the time of local Saint Bernards. Explained Plufet, "Ze poodles, wif ze peenk bows especially, are, how yo say, Gran Prix fearful ozer dogs will want to, how you say, 'conquer zer derrieres,' so zey move queeekly to keep zer derrieres out of ze crosshairs, so to speeek." As if to prove Plufet's point immediately, the poodles at that very moment became spooked by the presence of a nearby Sheltie coming up behind them and proceeded to unceremoniously haul Plufet three-quarters of a mile down the course naked. Why Plufet was doing the interview with Sportalicious! naked has not been determined at this time. Plufet does not even use a musher whip -- when he needs an extra burst of speed he uses a little squeeze toy that makes the sound of a sexually aroused bull mastiff. The poodle team is sponsored by Chanel and smells absolutely fabulous.