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Sportalicious's new Health and Fitness
columnist Chuck D'Amato does not 'work
out' in the traditional sense but rather feels that if you
live life to the fullest, body tone will generally improve.
D'Amato is a former blackjack dealer and internet mortgage
broker from Laughlin, Nevada; his most recent physical training
credit is he's spent the last seven weeks touring the country
in a '68 Camaro with several different women, stayed alive
and actually lost four pounds. D'Amato is six feet tall,
181 pounds, has ripped abs, is 28 years old and chain smokes.
He occasionally 'forgets' to eat. His favorite hard liquor
is pear vodka.
Hey guys, I gotta make this quick, I'm off to a gentlemen's
club. I'm the sargeant at arms. "On the docket today,
discuss Bush's European trip, then eat free frozen shrimp
and fondle exotic dancers."
Speaking of Bush, a lotta guys think they can't stay in
shape on a long road trip. That's just not true, dudes.
You just have to get out of the notion of one long workout
and break up those exercises into tinier activities you
can blend right into your daily day stuff.
Say you're at lunch at a sidewalk cafe with a blonde you
met just the night before, and she's just having a salad
and you feed pigeons with your bread which she finds adorable,
and then out of the corner of your eye you see the brunette
you rode in from the airport with that you may want to see
Friday. Be 'impulsive', the blonde'll love that, and literally
'run out' on the check. I mean, run! Like six blocks. Get
the cardio going. (If you're not wearing socks, be careful
of blisters. Recommend: JP Tod's driving moccasins - great
looking but can handle medium sprints.)
Or like, when you drop in at a hair salon for a quick clean
up and shaping, while you're sitting in the chair getting
shampooed, PERFECT time to do some small ab lifts. Ankles
up, hold, ankles down. I know it's hard, 'cause the shampoo
girl has her breasts right in your face and everything smells
so good and she's got that immaculate Costa Rican skin,
but that's where the discipline comes in.
Then, when you're showing off the haircut at happy hour
in the Argentinian steak joint downtown, as you're leaning
on the bar, put your weight on your arms and push back.
Girls love movement out of a guy in that situation so that
it doesn't seem like he's hovering, and you're getting great
bicep and lats repetitions! In out, in out, one handed,
the other handed, in out.
So now you've got ab work, cardio and upper body work and
you've been nowhere near a gym! Integrate the workout into
your daily day things, dude! Now, do you have a Marlboro
I could bum? I left mine in the machine.
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