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After having been abandoned as a two-year-old
in Chequamegon (Wi.) National Forest, Dick
Baker grew up with a passion for the outdoors. Baker
hosts "Baker's Dozin'" on the Camping Network
and is Sportalicous! outdoor correspondent. Email your questions
to outdoordick@sportalicious.com.
Dear Dick:
I live in snow-pummeled upstate New York - are there any
fun, easy activities for me and the kids to keeps us from
getting cabin fever?
- Jim Dad
Scraggytree Cove, NY
Dear Jim Dad:
Scraggytree Cove?! Wow, I won my first ferret trappin' invitational
just outside of there in Plasny, Canada! You ARE
way up there!
And I think I get your drift, too - no pun intended! Sometimes
there's so much snow it prevents you from getting to or
enjoying skiing, ice skating, etc. You want something to
do when a fresh 14 inches gets dumped on you and you can
barely open the door! Here's a quickie that the kids will
love and that won't break dad's back --
TUNNEL TO THE FORT - Instead of just building
'another' fort, why not 'tunnel to an exotic 'foreign country'
and THEN build it? It's easy to power horizontally
through the depth of snow you've got, and under those conditions,
especially if there's snow flurries, tunneling only fifteen
feet or so and then 'popping up' will make your house look
like it's far, far away! For the rest of winter the only
way to and from the fort is through the 'mystery tunnel!'
Note of caution: make airshafts from old PVC tubing and
stick them down into the tunnel from above, every five feet
or so. Sometimes even a slight change in temperature can
cause a 'snowshift' and the tunnel can collapse - in and
of itself that could only cause minor damage to a human
- say, bruises, wrist sprains, and frostbite as you dig
out - but if that 'snowshift' causes snow from other areas
to fall inwards on your tunnel, you could be buried alive
under a metric ton of snow that will crush a man's lungs,
freeze him in an excruciating physical position, and deprive
him slowly of oxygen. Conscious the entire time, you're
left to watch in suffocating horror as your limbs turn blue,
then black, all in the icy serene coffin nature has carved
for you. One family in Michigan was found literally four
inches from their front door - but they weren't found til
the April thaw! At the very least the PVC tubing will help
the Coronor's office in your area find your bodies before
they're rendered unrecognizable by freeze damage or burrowing
vermin like wolverines.
Now, 'snowshifts' are uncommon - odds are you'll sooner
die from a pinecone to the temple! - so you and your kids
just tunnel away, get back to your house and enjoy the cocoa!
-Outdoor Dick
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