Bail was set at 50,000 kibbles.

New York, NY - Sportalicious! reporters disguised as fluffer dogs reported an absolutely wild melee backstage at this week's Westminster Kennel Club show in New York that may have seriously affected the outcome of this insanely prestigious dog strut! The donnybrook started innocently enough, when a male border collie named Mabel was heckled by a female Newfoundland named Sammy about the name "Mabel" being a girls name. Mabel shall we say, took umbrage, herded Sammy into a men's room and bit her on a nipple, causing Sammy to lumber out of the corner at full speed, catching a velvet rope barrier in her chin hair without even knowing it. She then dragged it through the behind-the-scenes staging area, which most civilians don't know looks quite a bit like a martini bar, clocking dogs and handlers alike. A husky named Chaunce, upset at losing his group "to a freakin' dachsund," then incited several other huskies and samoyeds to pound some beers and go after Sammy, who had drooled on pretty much everything. On the run, Sammy grabbed Paul, a tiny shiitzu, in hopes of using him as a bargaining hostage. Here's where things get a little blurry, but according to a pointer who asked to remain nameless, Sammy attempted to flip Paul over in her mouth and may have accidentally swallowed him. "Don't fall for that 'accident' crap," said Mabel. "She's a playah hater. And incidentally, it's spelled M-A-B-L-E. It's not a chick's name, it's a kind of spackle pattern."