The Dolphins already have a G Booby.

Miami, FL - The Miami Dolphins tried to shore up an injury-riddled secondary this week by picking up Janet Jackson's right breast from the NFL waiver wire! Not since the Tampa Bay Buccaneers picked up a complete ass in Keyshawn Johnson has a body part been so highly talked about among league reps. Jackson's breast played its college ball at Fresno State, where it was an All-Big West honorable mention strong safety two years in a row. The breast has been timed at 4.6 in the 40-yard dash, a respectable if unremarkable time, but scouts say it makes up for pure speed with great lateral movement, a general nose for the ball, and a sexy nipple. "The breast gives us some great insurance," said Dolphins vice president of football operations Dan Marino, ten minutes before he quit. Last year at various times during the season the Dolphins started as many as three boobs in their backfield but never found a successful rotation, despite deploying a Spandex Bra defensive package. Jackson's breast has okayed the move but first must pass a complete physical, though Justin Timberlake has vouched for its health. The breast must also agree to sign an amendment authored by the Dolphins coaching staff that demands players not wear jewelry on the field.