Child architect's model of detox center. Urkidding, IN - The first ever de-tox center specifically for addicts of baseball trading cards, "STOPPS, INC.", has opened in this crushingly boring rural hamlet 40 miles southwest of Indianapolis. "We feel we can successfully and compassionately break the desire of card addicts to spend the kids' entire college fund on a Freddie Patek rookie card in mint condition," said clinic founder Dr. Vince Stucci. When asked if it's mostly wives checking their husbands into the clinic, Stucci replied, "No, mostly old mothers with adult sons still living at home in the only-half refurbished basement." Stucci said the treatment consists of mild sedatives, relaxation techniques, paper deprivation, and just the fact that Indiana is crushingly boring. An attempted airdrop of Richie Hebner cards from a Topps helicopter was thwarted by quick-thinking clinic staff, who flipped patio umbrellas inside out. Send this page to a friend (all fields required): Your Name   Friend's email Your email     The information entered here will be used to send an email on your behalf and will not be collected or used by Sportalicious! for any marketing purposes.