Miss Budweiser, indeed!

Jacksonville, CA - Alert Super Bowl second assistant director Castellio "Cazzie" Torro was credited by the Fox Network Monday with singlehandedly controlling camera framing on Sunday's Super Bowl halftime show and saving the American public from another debauched and potentially values-crushing display of perversion! "Everywhere around Paul McCartney's magnificently milquetoast performance were communist sicko ACLU minions trying to bring this country down," said Fox czar Rupert Murdoch, "but Cazzie kept cropping them out from view, or today we might all have already descended into heroin eating sex slaves on the 4 o'clock train to hell!" According to Murdoch, a short list of ACLU-sponsored FCC violations Torro was able to crop out included shots of the Budweiser blimp painted to look like a giant woman's breast with nipple, Courtney Love eating a plate of methamphetamines just under McCartney's piano, Ron Jeremy, two Eagles' fans who came dressed as Paris Hilton's private parts, and a glass-bottomed porta-poddy. "There was ACLU sin-sanity everywhere," said Torro, "but all I thought was, 'don't mess up or they'll ask to see a green card and then you're screwed." A grateful Murdoch and White House Secretary of Morality Ralph Reed told Torro that as a sign of gratitude, Torro's family would not be accidentally shot in an upcoming FBI drug raid on El Paso's west side. Said a disappointed ACLU rep Gretchen dePolk-Dinwiddy, "We were this close to firing a volley for freedom, until the can of snakes painted to look like David Lee Roth's weiner malfunctioned!"