High Schooler Lebron James To Retire
Citing exhaustion and “bein’ hassled by The Man”
high school hoops phenom Lebron James announced his retirement
from basketball. He added, “My knees are killin’ me.”
James foresook college ball to head straight to the pros, then
foresook the pros after getting worn down on his promotional tour
and kicked off his high school team for taking a free jersey.
After serving detention with Mr. Bauman, James will live off his
$20 billion dollar deal with Nike and a smaller stipend for endorsing
Spiral School Notebooks. James said he may open a driftwood furniture
store.
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