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"There's a skank shadow
over meeeeeee...ohhhh yeahh." |
Palm Springs, CA - Vowing
to "fight to the last nipple," the American
Civil Liberties Union has announced plans to "somehow,
some way, at some unpredictable point" drop sexy TV
star Paris Hilton form the sky, sans panties,
into the ultra-clean Super Bowl halftime
show planned by the NFL and Bush Secretary
of Morality Ralph Reed. 'We're goin' in,"
said ACLU lawyer Gretchen dePolk-Dinwiddy, "And I hope
for America's and Paris's sake there's no updrafts."
Fox TV promises to cover every second of
the crotchless insertion "because we believe in the
bedrock values of our founding fathers and also our 8:30pm
slot is sagging, no pun intended, and with that Powell kid
kicked to the curb we're goin' for it." For her part,
Hilton thinks she's just going para-gliding with one of
the heirs to the Indian Candy Corn fortune and will be secretly
administered Valium if she hasn't already popped two or
three.
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