Everyone knows this is the time of year the big political gamblers flock into town with thier Cadillacs and hot older broads and start layin' down the major potato chips on the upcoming elections! man, nothin' says 'democracy' like layin' 5 large on a three-way western states Senate parlay! So let's drive over to the foothills near the old Nevada Basalt mine and look over the odds board at Governor Happy's Casino and sportsbook, then maybe drop some tater slivers down on our Democratic buddies - see if I can't make enough to get the leather interior package added to my Aztek... 2:1 - Howard Dean is remote-control operated by two guys in a van 7:1 - Wesley Clark will knock someone cold at the next debate 9:1 - Carol Mosley Braun and Al Sharpton will arm wrestle 1:1 - if they arm wrestle, Sharpton will lose to Braun 3:1 - John Edwards gets laid more than the other 8 candidates combined 525:1 - Joe Lieberman could possibly get into a Lewinsky-type scandal 7:1 - Dick Gephart's hair is an experiment by two guys at DuPont 3:1 - Braun will beat Lieberman two-of-three arm wrestling 4:1 - Dennis Kucinich will be mistaken for a Japanese gardener I don't know about you, but I'm puttin' three tater chips down on the Howard Dean bet, then backing it up with a chip each on the Clark, Edwards and Kucinich bets. You could also go with a Gephart/Braun/Sharpton trifecta, but you've got to bet that by Feb. 12. and Sharpton's too unpredictable. Speaking of unpredictable, you never know what amazing surprise Haloop, the pastry chef, will cook up at Filibuster's Coffee Shop inside Governor Happy's! Last night it was a Dixiecrat Red Gravy Eclaire! Wow, spicy, yet sweet - just like the Iowa caucuses for Dick Gephart... or my name ain't... The Tubster NEXT WEEK: I'll try to get to the last four "next week's", 'kay? We all know unsanctioned gambling is illegal, and Sportalicious! would never condone it. But if you're playing at the kitchen table, an innocent game with your kids using potato chips…knowledge is power, that's all we're saying.